10 Reasons to love Summer when living in California.
1. Women
I go to school at Loyola, which is filled with far too many fatties. And that is why I love summer here, you go to the beach and very rarely will you see a chunkmonster walking around. And that is a good thing.
2. The Beach
If this didn’t exist there would be no place to for these un-fat women to walk around in those bikinis. And boy oh boy don’t we all love those bikinis. Especially since I’ve been living in weather that has been around 30 degrees for the past few months, this is something I need.
3. In-N-Out
Yes, my boner for In-N-Out continues. Nothing like eating one of these burgers on a hot summer day. Fuck you White Castle, you can never match In-N-Out.
4. Baseball Season
Some of you fuckers don’t seem to appreciate baseball very much. That’s fine. Just know that you suck more man asshole than…well…than some guy who sucks a lot of man asshole. Going to an Angels or Dodgers game is always a good time, even better if its free or if the Red Sox are playing. Being obsessed with the Red Sox is my top hobby, and Summer is the prime time for me to let this obsession out.
5. Drinking
Oh yes, with no responsibilities in sight (I don’t count a job as a responsibility) you are free to drink as much as you possibly can. Especially with the 4th of July or National Get Drunk and Eat BBQ While Listening To Bruce Springstein Day as I call it, drinking is at its prime. Summer is also one of the times that you can start drinking at 12 and no one questions it. If this is done during the school year you are what we call an Alcohol.
6. Volleyball
I know that you may not play this sport, so you can’t appreciate how awesome beach volleyball is, so let me leave you with this. Girls in bikinis jumping up and down. Nuff said.
7. The Weather
Warm, but not too hot. Always sunny. Not Humid. Perfect.
8. Parties
Yes the summer parties, which could be included with drinking, but fuck you I’m not going to. Everyone is coming back from college this year so that is something else to look forward to. And of course the amazing stories that ensue.
9. Work
You need something to do to pay for all of your bad habits during this time. And its even better here because we have a minimum wage of $7.50 an hour and most places pay better than that.
10. Colin Fucking Lopez
I’m here. And I’m the fucking shit. So that makes summer in California better than summer anywhere else.
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